I am sitting here nervous about writing my first blog entry. I’ve read so many other blogs for years, but now that I am attempting to finally write my own blog, BOOM! My head opens up and all the things I had to say just spill right out and disappear. I opened this account weeks ago, but couldn’t bring myself to get it started. I finally told myself today that I was going to write whatever came to mind and if it sucked, alright then, at least I will have gotten over the first hump, writing the first blog.
I turned 40 last year and was in shock. I couldn’t believe that I had made it out of my 30’s, but when I looked back on them, I didn’t feel like I had done much. I definitely didn’t have the family I thought I would have. My husband and I tried, but life and my health just kept getting in the way. I buried myself in work for awhile and spent a long time depressed. I am still dealing with the depression, but I am trying to channel it in different ways. Turning 40 made me think about the things I have been missing out on and how fast time can fly. So I am trying to set my sights on the future and what I can achieve in the next 40 years.
At the beginning of the year, I put on the Fitbit I had gotten for Christmas and started walking. I walked a couple times a week to start and eventually was walking everyday. Then I got seriously fatigued. I could barely stay awake throughout work and would often get winded just walking from my bedroom to my living room which isn’t far. I went to the doctor and went through a bunch of tests and it came down to sleep apnea. I went to a class and got fitted for the CPAP machine and am doing somewhat better. It took awhile to get used to it and to wear all night long. I am still tired, but not like before. I am hoping now I can get back on track with the walking and getting in shape. Being tired all the time really makes it hard to chase your dreams, but I am hoping that by writing this blog, it will keep me motivated to get out there and find adventures to write about.